Monday, July 26, 2010

THE ORIGINAL CONEY ISLAND

The Original Coney Island
Duluth, Minnesota (!)
July 21st, 2010

A previously scheduled trip up nort, as folks say in the upper Midwest, also brought me to a previously unknown coney outpost in Duluth.


























ordered: two coney islands, as they're known


















winner: the decor. Second place goes to the ambiance. We ate and watched the owners/regulars drink coffee, mock each other, and consume a huge basket of coneys.


















I'm sad to report that the coneys were not ... great.

please note: according to one of the yellowed clippings on the wall, the recipe for Greek chili was passed from Aristotle to Alexander the Great. This is possibly the most ludicrous--and THEREFORE THE MOST AWESOME--bit of coney lore I have encounter yet.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

THE FIRST DRAFT

I've finished what I consider to be the first final draft of the essay.

It's twelve pages long. Six thousand words.

*

Some edits may be in order.

Friday, July 16, 2010

MISSED CONEYS

I was supposed to try and cross two coneys off my list yesterday--Tom Z's in Flint and Lafayette in Detroit--but then I thought that I didn't really want to eat a bunch of coneys before standing on the floor at the double-bill show of The Gaslight Anthem and The Hold Steady.

A most excellent idea, as it turned out. Unrestrained by the weight of coneys, I was able to scream for three hours. But I am off to Duluth in the next week, and it turns out there are coneys in Duluth! They were brought there by a Greek immigrant. Raise your hand if you're surprised.

Put your hand down.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

SKYLINE CHILI

Skyline Chili
Sharonville, OH
December 31st, 2008


























ordered: four cheese coneys
the winner: I'd say the sort-of black eye

please note: nothing says "happy New Year!" like ringing in with coneys. Why four? Because I wanted 2009 to be fourtunate! Ha ha ha ohhhhhhhhhhhh.

also please note: spaghetti and oyster crackers in background. Tiny white bowls for everyone!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

THE GRAND CONEY

The Grand Coney
Grand Rapids, MI
Saturday, January 16, 2010


















ordered: something called "The Flint 'Sweet D' Combo"
winner: my stomach

please note: in March, TGC debuted a stripped-down menu. The "Sweet D" Combo is no longer listed, which is probably best for everyone, as it is really fucking enormous. But you can still order a combo that consists of a single coney, fries, and a Coke.

I'm sure it could also be a diet Coke. Don't be that person.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

THE ONE STOP CONEY SHOP

One Stop Coney Shop
Grand Rapids, MI
Tuesday, July 13th, 2010


order: one Detroit, one Flint
winner: Flint, I think

please note: I was not the first person to spill mustardy onions on the house copy of the Grand Rapids Press.

Monday, July 12, 2010

WHY CONEYS

A few months ago, I wrote a poem about coneys. It's a long poem, nine sections in all, and in writing it I realized that coneys are my happy food. I grew up in a town that likes its hot dogs with something called Texas hot sauce, and eating coneys in Cincinnati with my cousin, and now I live in a state that claims it's the home of the coney.

The poem makes me hungry.

Now I'm writing an essay based on that poem--sort of a loose history of the coney. The essay can't be a complete history, but it's interesting for me to see where coneys came from and how they've managed to dot small sections of the upper Midwest and western New York.

Please note that my findings are intentionally limited to states or cities where I've resided. I have no intention of making this an exhaustive compilation of coney sites or restaurants, since other people are way more committed to that, and I don't profess to actually know anything about hot dogs. In this manner, I am sloppy like Detroit-style.

My research basically consists of chasing ghost links all over the Internet and eating local coneys when I feel like it. Also, yes, I have decided that I prefer the plural of coney as coneys and not conies.

I'll be posting my coney-eating here, and maybe one day the essay will find a home and someone will want to see pictures of hot dogs a stranger ate. That's the great thing about the Internet.